When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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