Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Randomize
