I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
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