Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
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