I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
i out mim tonsoeep
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