nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
