What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
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