It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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