I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
