We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
