Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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