Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
