So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
