Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Randomize
