how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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