Tell her she can't have a vagina
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
