Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
