i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Randomize