suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
