My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize