i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
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