the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
