My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I'm like, not good at living.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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