i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Brb crying the tears of my youth
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
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