I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
