Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
