theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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