so let's talk penis.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Randomize