the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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