Where is the hickey?
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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