drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
