She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize
