Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
