i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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