If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Do you still have your period?
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
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