from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Randomize
