I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
operation have a gay friend backfired
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
