Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
