I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
