i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Randomize
