i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
