Who wears a wallet chain?!
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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