ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize