but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Randomize
