So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
