No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
