I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Randomize
