Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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