Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
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