Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
