all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
