Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Randomize