Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
