But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
