New low: just hacked my moms facebook
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
My dad is sitting where you rode me
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
