you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
