from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Randomize
