She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
My liver just had a heart attack.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
