Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
