i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
