Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
