i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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