girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize