Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
