Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
