Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize