I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I want to make a zoo with you.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
