oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
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