Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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