So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Randomize
