Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
