Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize