I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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