he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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