Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
