Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
